Summer

July 18, 2016

Dear Sister Kristina,

It’s the middle of July and it looks like it’s going to start feeling that way too. We’re heading for hot temperatures this week, but it sure looks nice where you are. Love California summers!!

Last week Alex texted me and told me to be sure to watch Jimmy Fallon that night. His friends had gotten tickets for the show and he was pretty sure we’d be able to see him and Savannah in the audience.He said it was really fun going to the taping and sure enough, we could see him. There was one point when Jimmy came into the audience and he was standing right in front of Alex on the stairs, but we could see Savannah the whole time. Here’s some pics I took off the TV and yes, he’s the bearded one. His beard just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Not so sure I like it because you can’t tell when he’s happy. haha I don’t know why all 3 of my boys have decided to become bearded ones. I’m sure there’s some psychological reasoning behind it. :)

Nikki is now officially on her big summer adventure. We had to scramble and change some plans last week because at the last minute, United Airlines called us and said Nikki couldn’t fly alone. Most airlines require that you are at least 15 to fly so she misses it by a couple months. We finally decided to send her on JetBlue from SLC to Long Beach, but that meant we had to find a way for her to get to Salt Lake. JetBlue allows 14 year olds to fly alone. So I put out a request for a ride on Facebook and actually got 2 responses and one of them just happened to be Kayla Langford Jensen. They were driving down to Ogden on Friday and Nikki was so happy because she knows Kayla so well. It all worked out, but we had to get her ready much quicker than we thought. Kirk said he could pick her up from Ogden and then stay with them until this morning when she flies out. Then I had to arrange for Toni to pick her up from Long Beach. Jan was planning a trip to Orange tomorrow anyway for a doctor’s appt and was just going to take Nikki with her, so now she will just pick up Nikki from Toni’s. Then Nikki and Jan will head up to Santa Maria on Thursday where she will stay until next Tuesday when Toni will come up Jan’s and take Nikki back to Orange and put her on the plane a week from Wednesday. Then Nikki will get picked up by Kirk in Salt Lake and she will stay with them again until the 31st when we are heading down there. Got that?? That’s how crazy it was to try and figure this all out, but I was determined to let Nikki have this adventure. 

She needs this so much. Since things have been so rough around here with Leah, Nikki has missed out on a lot of attention and has been treated so meanly by Leah. Nikki came home from girls camp with a strong testimony, a determination to do better, to pray more and to even go on a mission. I was so happy to have this last week with her all alone to get ready for her trip and to talk about life. It’s been wonderful.

Now for the reason I had Nikki all alone. Leah has had to go back into the hospital again for choices she has made here in the home. She was using self harm just because she was mad and having suicidal thoughts, etc. which now she says she didn’t mean, but that she was just mad. She really needs some help and dad and I need help helping her. Her counselor is trying to help her see what consequences happen because of her actions, but she is still not seeing that yet. She was supposed to go to Utah with me this week and now she won’t be going, but the counselors want me to still go so she sees what consequence has happened. She is furious about not going and has blamed me because I won’t get her out of there and that if I really loved her, I would get her out. This is truly tough love and it’s super hard for me, but I can see what the counselors are saying and I don’t want to make things worse for her. They have completely changed her meds, which I’m hopeful about because they kept increasing her dosages before and things just seemed to get worse and worse around here. She has been in the hospital for a week now and we have gone to visit and made phone calls, but I can tell she’s not ready to come home yet. They won’t let her come home if they think she’s a harm to herself or to others or is not obeying the rules where she is. She’s softening a little which is good, but it will take time. And if she comes home now, they think she will just fall back into her old ways, which is true.

When she comes home, the counselor here wants to do a complete psychological evaluation on her because he thinks she doesn’t have the right diagnosis. That will be wonderful because that’s what I’ve thought all along and once we know what’s going on with her, then we can help her better. He’s also going to make sure that her IEP at school is what she needs and that it’s done properly. He looked at her records and said the schools have really let her down. In fact, he’s furious about it and wants to go with me to the school the week before it starts and talk with all of them there. I’m so happy he’s going to be with me for that meeting.

I know it seems very sad for Leah, but she really is in the right place right now. She was really going downhill here giving up on everything and becoming extremely rude to everyone. There’s some underlying anger and issues, a lot of which happened when she was given up for adoption at 4 years old, but one thing she always says is that her family means everything to her. My hope is that she’ll be able to feel full joy here on earth, but I also know that the atonement is here for her and for me, so my faith is strong and she couldn’t have ended up in a better family with so many who love and care for her.

So dad and I have virtually been alone in the house and sometimes I’m completely alone when he works his shifts. It’s weird. We made way too much dinner yesterday after church, so now we have leftovers for a week at least. haha But we’ve been having fun also doing whatever we want, eating whatever we want, leaving whenever we want and coming home whenever we want. woohoo I guess it’s good practice for when we are empty nesters. I’m happy that Roxy and Eddy are here with me.

Savannah treated Alex to a Panda lunch for his birthday last week. I guess there’s only one Panda in New York City so he was pretty excited.

He said they were smaller portions there and cost more and tasted a little different, but he was sooo happy as you can see. They are really enjoying exploring New York together.

Over the weekend, Kirk and Sarah and the girls all went for a hike up Donut Falls with Nikki and have had fun doing some other things with her. Here’s a pic Kirk sent me and I can’t believe how big Addie looks. She looks like she’s going into kindergarten. When we facetimed last night, she wanted to take a bath so she ran into the family room and counted to five and then ran back out. I don’t think I knew how to count to five until I was four or something. haha

Haylee is now starting to smile and it’s so cute to see the videos that Sarah sends me. And she even still has all her hair. Kirk had lost his by the time he was a month old, but dad says she could still end up losing it. I sure hope not, because it’s sooo cute and I just love how it stands straight up.

I’m leaving this Thursday to go to Utah for Addie’s 2nd birthday party. I’m going to stay until next Monday. Dad is working a lot this week, since he knew I would be gone. So I’m excited to hold Haylee and play with Addie, oh ya and to see Kirk and Sarah. I even get to babysit the girls on Friday because Sarah has to go get her fingerprints taken for more visa stuff. Her paperwork is neverending. Here’s another pic from their hike:

Yesterday was out last day in our marriage and family class. I’m really going to miss it. I’ve learned so much from the Langfords and the discussions we have all had. The treats were amazing too, not gonna lie. They talked about children who stray yesterday and they’ve had personal experience with that, so it was very tender and with the things with Leah, it was also close to our hearts. Christine Langford has such a wonderful way of expressing thoughts so I told her how much I appreciated everything she said yesterday, that her words came at a perfect time.

I figure today I’m going to be spending a lot of time on the phone with Nikki walking her through her airport experience. I really hope it’s easy for her. I think the Salt Lake airport will be the hardest to navigate, but Long Beach should be a breeze. I told her I’d stay on the phone with her the whole time after she gets through security to make sure she gets to the right gate. I know she’s going to be nervous and she will get to the airport in about ten minutes. So I’m already a little nervous for her. But this will be a couple of weeks that she’ll always remember and Jan and Toni have some fun things planned for her. I’m even jealous.

I hope your week was a little smoother for you. I’m sure you and Sister Stromberg are a bright spot in your mission president’s life. Even when you come home, your life will always reflect the love you have for our Savior. Each day I always think about whether people can tell I’m a true disciple of Christ by what I say and do. I sure hope so, but I always have things to work on. Do something each day to fill your lamp with spiritual oil as it gets depleted so easily these days with all we hear and see around us in the world. We can’t just fill it on Sunday. I hope you feel our prayers for you. You’re always on my mind and in my heart and it fills me with unbelievable joy. Thank you!! 

Enjoy the summer sunshine of California.

Love you like crazy,

Mom xxoo